Many children do not want to do their homework alone. They need a parent to sit next to them and tell them what to do next. Other children may come up every minute and ask if they did everything right. It can drive you crazy!
- Children often feel insecure
Some children are insecure about learning and are afraid to do something wrong. As a result, they constantly ask whether individual problems are solved correctly. Many parents answer: “Yes! Everything is fine! Now go.”
Paradoxically, such a reaction only strengthens the lack of independence of the child. He understands that if I feel insecure, and then I ask the parent, I feel good again. However, this good feeling only lasts until the next task. At the same time, parents themselves often emphasize that the child completed the task “correctly” or “goodly”. Thus, they make him feel that it is important to do the tasks well and correctly, subconsciously reinforcing the child’s demand not to make mistakes.
In this case, it is better to emphasize that you value independence, even if some mistakes are made as a result. Many children seek greater independence when they notice that their parents appreciate and notice. You can encourage your child to be more independent, for example by asking:
- What can you do alone with this?
- I think that you can make the rest of the examples yourself.
As soon as your child tries – on his own initiative or with the help of your support – to take on the task on his own, you can express your appreciation:
- Great, you did so much on your own!
- You almost did everything yourself! Wonderful!
At this stage, it is important to consciously adjust your quality requirements. Once your child understands that independent work is more important to you than a “good” or “correct” result, the effectiveness of homework will increase.
- Your child learns easily
Some mentors and parents take pride when children and young people tell them, “If you explain this material to me, I’ll understand it right away.” Many parents become real experts at explaining things in simpler language, finding great examples and illustrations.
It is much more convenient and exciting for children to learn the material together with such an excellent “tutor” than to painstakingly study the text on their own or look in the textbook for how an arithmetic problem is solved.
Direct professional help, in which you explain things in simpler language, show possible solutions, or tell your child exactly what to do, is an easy way to learn in the short term only.
Let’s say your child needs to learn a complex text. You might think, “This history book is really awkward” and start helping the child by making the material simpler, answering questions, or helping the child write a short summary. The child gets a good mark on the test, but he also becomes more dependent on your further help. In the long run, the child will only benefit if he “helps” himself.
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